i’m starting to be a favorite of that green-eyed girl. you know, how come she doesn’t understand that insecurity is a waste of time! how about posting some hate notes on facebook, isnt that a waste of time?!

i have been silent about this thing for some time, but for once, i wanna react. 

• i love my boyfriend so much. i don’t have time to look at the others, specifically, your ‘soon-to-be-boyfriend’. so stop the accusations, the jealousy and the hate.
• question first your partner’s fidelity before your insecurity kills you.
• whatever me and your soon-to-be-boyfriend had is surely nothing but a  piece of joke and a thing of the past.
• i will NEVER EVER snatch your dear soon-to-be-boyfriend from you.
• before you two had your mutual understanding, we and the others were already joking about it. IT WAS SURELY JUST FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. 
• keep him. i don’t want him. EVERYTHING WAS A JOKE, YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR. Everybody knows IT WAS A JOKE.
• i didnt want him to cheat on you. it’s his choice.
• i have nothing against you. i even wish you well. but i just have to express things.
• have faith in yourself. you are beautiful. and more importantly, you have him. what more can you be jealous about?
• pray for peace of mind. I AM NOT A THREAT to your relationship. he’s all yours.
• delete me on facebook to stop the insecurity. :)

well, girl/s, i think it’s time to reflect and contemplate. think about your worth. we are princesses of God. we need not be jealous of anyone ‘cause God made us beautiful in our own ways. anyone is not worth your envy for you are wonderfully made.

T___T Sana kase intindihin mo naman ako. Masyado ka kaseng nasanay sa dati, SORRY HA? Hindi kasi ako ganon. Siguro sa knya, madali lang. HINDI kase madali para saken. GUSTUHIN KO MAN, HINDI AKO READY. BIGYAN MO NAMAN AKO NG ORAS PARA MAGING HANDA. HINDI MO KASE AKO NAIINTINDIHAN. 
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HINDI MO NAMAN KASE NARARAMDAMAN YUNG NARARAMDAMAN KO. WALA KANG ALAM. Dahil kung anong gusto mo, GUSTO MO NANGYAYARI AGAD. Gusto ko rin namang mangyare eh, pero bakit hindi mo ko intindihin na KAILANGANG KO MUNANG MAGING HANDA. Bakit ka ba ganyan.. Akala mo kase IKAW LANG ang nasasaktan eh. AKALA MO, IKAW LANG ANG MAY GUSTO..
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GUSTO KO NANG MANUMBAT. BAKIT IKAW, INIINTINDI NAMAN KITA. BAKIT AKO, HINDI MO KAYANG INTINDIHIN? AKO MAY PROBLEMA DIN. PERO NI MINSAN, HINDI KO PINARAMDAM SAYO NA DUMADAGDAG KA DON. BAKIT IKAW, PINAMUMUKHA MO PA SAKEN NA PUMAPATONG PA KO SA MGA PROBLEMA MO? 
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KUNG HINDI MO NA KAYANG MAG HINTAY, BUMITAW KA NA. MAKIPAG BREAK KA. KESA SA GANTONG HINDI KA NGA BUMIBITAW, PINAPAKITA AT PINAPARAMDAM MO NAMAN SAKEN NA WALA KA NANG PANAHONG PARA MAG ANTAY.
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Makipag break ka na lang, please lang. Ayoko na ng gantonng pakiramdam..

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:’( T________________________________________________T

*BABALA* I included TOO MANY photos for you to handle

I’m sooo going to miss my block section, AAPD2F. I’ve never beeen so happy and contented with my blocks ‘til I met them. ♥ I’ll definitely cherish every moment I’ve spent with these fuckers. :p TARA, DOUGIEEE! :)

Our first class picture together. We didn’t want to pay for anything so we didn’t ask for any photographers. Instead, we just brought our own cam as per Dr. Chan’s request. :> KURIPOT EVER ANG 2F.

This was during Pat’s pre-birthday celebration. :D love these chicks!

This was the actual birthday of Pat. It was also our NSTP day. Went to Marikina Boy’s Town and helped clean the place.

(the cake we bought for her melted because of the heat.. D:)

…and we gave her a bouquet of flowers! :)

CEU Sportsfest 2011

then we went straight to MOA. took photos at seaside, and ate at Gerry’s Grill :)

CHICKS decided to bond and stroll at the streets of Intramuros :D

pictures are not complete with them if there were no jump shots.. so here it is!

Last day of swimming class. Will miss you superrr, Sir Catapang!! >:D<

Ordinary uni days with my beloved PD2F ♥

PD2F’S PRESIDENT, Mich! (na pala absent hahahah)

Last day with my PD2F :( </3

Aaaaaaand, I will def treasure the moments I’ve shared with my CHICKS. A group consisting of 6 members. We were all from different circle of friends from different sections. Who would have thought we will be this close? :) I love you mga chicksss! Next sem ule ;) >:D<

See you around CEU guuuys!

Love,

My friends are the only ones whom I can confide my feelings with when I’m having problems about my family or boyfriend. Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I won’t be telling much here because I already burst out my feelings in multiply. Yeaaah, i know. That site’s pretty much an online shopping now. But that’s the point. Nobody reads my blog there anymore, except of course, my ex, who keeps on viewing my posts.

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And yes, I can see who views my posts. Yepp, just found out after i blogged that he still checks my profile and posts. I mean how could you stalk my blogs when you blocked me at facebook? Then tell your sister’s boyfriend to ask how I was doing, letting them think that you don’t hate me and all. Letting them think that I’m still affected. And letting them think that i’m still on my bitter mode. You’re weird. Stop being a fake ass fucker because really, you’re getting on my nerves. Move the fuck on. I did. 

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Getting back to the main topic… tf. I hate this feeling. Like I can’t do anythiiiiing good for my boyfriend. Or the fact that I can’t help him with his problems but OTHERS CAN. I can’t even bring him home to meet my parents. Am certainly not his ideal girlfriend. This… All these..it’s not what he hoped, wished, and dreamed for. How can i give him things that will make him happy when I already made him think that I dont love him that much? WHAT KIND OF A GIRLFRIEND AM I?

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He has loots of problem, and am adding up in one of those instead of helping him unload one. tf…. i have my issues with him tooo but i cant tell him.. I.JUST.CANT. he already has a lot of things going through his mind… there’s no space for my thoughts…problems…issues…

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I’m fucking sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Sad.

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but i cant show him.. I can’t.. I just really can’t…. At least not now. He’s going through a rough time. I can’t add up on his problems. I have to be there for him. I HAVE TO. I WANT TO. but i cant do anything…. im confused with my own thoughts…

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oh Lord. thank you for giving me such wonderful friends. i don’t know what i would do without them in my life. :( i need my two bestfriends…. sadly, they didn’t reply to my texts and messages. i feel alone… tG maco messaged me. im in so much pain and i just told him all the things going through my mind.. i told him my concerns.. he just listened. and thats exactly what i needed. a friend who’ll listen. he said some stuffs, helped me galin a lil a peace of mind.. and even for a minute, i felt a genuine smile on my face.

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thanks maco! your presence just means soooo much…

I feel ugly in the eyes of everyone. I am trying my best to look good. But wooooow, Christina Aguillera is wrong. Words CAN REALLY bring you down. I’ve been on a diet for a year, on and off. My weight keeps on fluctuating. When I gain weight, everybody notices. When I lose weight, only few would recognize the hardships I’ve gotten through.

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Dieting is NOT easy especially to those who loves to eat, myself included.

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I love rice — which apparently becomes sugar when it breaks down inside one’s body. I love sweets — which, apparently, contains high amount of sugar. I love fast foods and junk foods — which apparently, are classified as foods with very high calories. But because MANY are keeping an eye on my weight and figure, I have restrained myself from eating these kinds of food.

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It was painful at first, but as what they say.. BEAUTY IS PAIN. I’ve resisted those mouthwatering, breathtaking foods. BUT WHY? JUST SO I could look good in the EYES OF MANY for months? I got tired of it sooner that I thought. I may have lost 8-10 lbs but I was not happy. It’s not that I want to remain fat or chubby, but the thought that I’m doing this FOR OTHERS makes me hate myself MORE, instead of ACCEPTING the fact that I’m getting fatter by the minute and because I LOVE MYSELF, I should be taking care of it.

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I’m tired of people forcing me to do this, to do that. Why can’t they just let me deal with it in my own way? If you force me to do the way you want it to be done, YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME IN ANY WAY. What I would just want you to do is give some advice, encourage me, and have faith in me that I can do it all throughout the process. That would be really nice, you know? At least I dedicate the price that I would be getting not only to myself, but also TO YOU, WHO HELPED me IMPROVE my PHYSICAL LOOK.

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But wait.. Another thought just came in today. HOW ABOUT MY INNER SELF?

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A lot of people nowadays (again, myself included), have been fitness conscious, either for healthy or vanity reasons. People try to be fit by going to the gym, doing all sorts of exercises and engaging themselves on different kinds of diets. Most of us “outer-conscious”. Then I come to think, if only we are also concerned on our spiritual health..

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I wish I’d be conscious about the things that come out of my mouth, the thoughts that I let inside my heart, as much as I am conscious about the food that I intake. I was really humbled by my own thoughts. I searched my heart and realized that it has been on an unhealthy diet for quite sometime— pride, anger, jealousy has been thriving on it. So, it’s time for me to do some spiritual exercise NOW.

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So today, I asked myself.. AM I LIVING HEALTHY? I am God’s princess, I need to be beautiful INSIDE AND OUT. :)

i-smashed:

Hey guuuuys. I fin’lly decided to make a twitter account as per.. well.. ALMOST everybody’s request. It was only my friend Maco who really pushed me in making one, sooooo. As a newbie, CARE TO FOLLOW? :>

My Twitter Account - click it. Thank you guuuysss!

xoxo,

i-smashed

Hey guuuuys. I fin’lly decided to make a twitter account as per.. well.. ALMOST everybody’s request. It was only my friend Maco who really pushed me in making one, sooooo. As a newbie, CARE TO FOLLOW? :>

My Twitter Account - click it. Thank you guuuysss!

xoxo,

i-smashed

natawa lang ako sa blog ni ate mae, very inspiring. HAHAHA. napa-‘salbaheng smile’ ako kahit senti mode ako that time. :)) just wanna share the quote with you guys.

minsan, hindi rin naman talaga ginusto ng mga taong mahal natin ang saktan tayo. 
hindi naman nila sinasadyang iwan tayo para sa bagong dumating. 
minsan kailangan din nating tanggapin 
na sa paniniwala nila, mas mahal nila ‘yung bago. ganun lang naman talaga, 
dun sila kung sa’n sila masaya. 
ganon din naman siguro ang gagawin natin 
kung tayo ang nasa sitwasyon diba? 
lahat tayo mararanasang 
AGAWIN, MANG-AGAW at MAAGAWAN. panapanahon lang yan..

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basta di na ko mang-aagaw at magpapaagaw. sana lang wag na din akong maagawan. ;)